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You are my Paris.

You are my goal shrouded in clouds.

You are where my hopes and aspirations culminate.

Shiny, sparkly, and aromatic.

With every breath I can feel that you are what is missing.

Filling my lungs with a sense of euphoria.

My heart, skipping more than a few beats.

You are my Paris.

You are my destination.
9.2.19 17:16


8.2.19 04:57


a promise forgotten.

a truth never told.

a lie made in vain.

 words, spoken..words, whispered in silence and nobody to hear them.



Sometimes I dream so vividly

That life afterwards seems dull and grey



It makes me yearn for more

For something that does not exist



So I keep on looking

Searching

Waiting.

Withering away
31.1.19 05:01


wenn die brust aufbricht

My chest is filled with




with so much anger

and rage

disappointment

and disgust

disdain

loathing and fear

resentment , lingering in every breath i exhale

i want to jam my fingernails under my skin 

pull and tear as hard as i can

rip open my flesh and bones



just to give these things living inside a little .

breathing room?

a bit more space to not feel so cramped 

so disgustingly tight

unnervingly so



i hate that my control over these abominations can fade so quickly

vanish, as if it had never been there in the first place

and just as it was all going so well



the right pieces were falling into the right places

the thick crust around my heart was slowly starting to crumble

i had a glimpse of feelings

not just negative ones



but the moment i have a setback

something more than minor

it all comes crashing down



i can rationalize as much as i want to

i can keep telling myself the facts, 

things are not as bad as they seem, 

it will take a few more months of my life away but , nothing drastic

but on the inside ,

it is something more than that

my feelings, my instincts, deep within

they are producing all these negative incarnations



i want them to stop

i need them to

i told myself i was going to be a new me

an improved me

i was going to be the ;me' i always told myself i could be

if i only tried hard enough

if i only sacrificed enough



but what is enough

how do i do enough

where is enough, enough?



enough, please..
30.1.19 04:16


I want to be your person

I want to be your person

I want you to be my person

I want to feel better just by being in your presence

I want to love you unconditionally

I want to feel as if i’m not ready to break apart at any moment

I’d like you to be my band-aid

I’d like to hold your hand and fly far, far away

And I would never, ever want to come back

Never.

Please?
28.1.19 05:39


i want to love you

i want you to be loved by me

i want to be fragile

i want to give my all

i want to be yours
26.1.19 07:53


Will you hold my heart?

hold it gently , please

it's been through a lot 

it needs time to breathe

holding on by a thread

nearly breaking in half

will you hold my heart? 

gently, please



will you hold my hand?

squeeze it real tight

while we walk through the meadow

while we fly through the night.

please don't let go

i'd hate to get lost

separated from you 

id wither and die



will you be by my side

when i need you most?

while you comfort me?

me and my ghosts

they come when i sleep

they haunt all my dreams

they make me forget about

you, you and me



Sometimes i wish we could simply exist

sitting on a bench 

feet in the sand

a simple wish

a simple dream



my simple heart

just needs to be held
12.1.19 07:11


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